What is my worth....??

Just as the period when R made me feel like the king of this World because of her love for me...she has been making me feel like the scum of Earth....The not so funny thing is that she knows what she is doing and she is least worried about it. I know I just don't matter to her but I always have hope, which has been fading fast lately. I know she just does what her heart tells her to and I give her credit for that. She is right in her views but for me it kills me each day. There is nothing I can do about it..feel so helpless.. I sometimes wish I was more like her in this regard and could get bored of her or start looking for new friends every few days so as to make life more interesting..but I am not like that and whatever happens I know for sure few years from now she would look back and feel sad about all this..anyways..I have promised myself that I wont bother...make her unpeaceful till she sends me any msg....i doubt it but then again life is to be lived in hope right Vault? :) Cheers!