Hmmmmm......

To msg errr take away R's peace or not...is the thing that has been in my mind over last 2-3 hours.. I am holding on as hard as I can...I guess venting out my desperation here is another tactic to delay or deny the sending of that stupid Hi how are you to R and making her peaceful life all volatile and dark.......I keep telling myself That R did not want to talk to me ever again from as back as Sept 2008 it is just me who foolishly bothered her and disturbed her peace because I am a dum wit and I just felt some way down the line she would have some interest in talking to me after all the msgs and phone calls ...it was just that HOPE that kept me trying to talk to her and trying to just hold on to the hope that she will someday talk to me as before with that care and respect....but what just happened was with every passing day and every passing antics that I tried to get closer to her she drifted further away so away now that I do not have any HOPE that she will ever msg me again or talk to me....I would have messaged her and tried to do all that again but knowing that I bothered her....i strained her limits and I take away her peace all within last week I have been steadyfast in holding to my heart and just laying low without disturbing her and frankly I also know she wont have noticed that I have not talked to her now 5 & half days....This is real and this is Happening my dear Vault and I am helpless to do anything to change it....