Hmm I gave in....

So after 5 days of denying myself my stupid life's biggest pleasure i.e talking to R...I finally disturbed her peace & tranquility... It was kind of her to not be angry and respond to me. Throughout the day we talked for almost an hour...it made me feel wonderful ...cannot really know from R nowadays how she feels I hope she wont have been bothered about talking to me again. It felt great to know that she would have messaged me tomorrow if I had not jumped the gun and messaged her today...but then again this is the story of my life...always not doing anything right. Like I said R is one person in the whole World in front of whom I don't being my most vulnerable self..I know she hates the fact that I am so spineless and a cry baby with her. But what to do.. that one decision that I didn't have the spine to stand up to has left me with so much pain to last this life time....