Another day and another 24 hours of being insignificant to R. The first interaction with R started with me wishing her a Good Morning and R responding back saying it was not such a pleasant morning for her because of " Back Pain". Hmm.. that's what well raised individuals call Period. The moment I hear it I just automatically feel her pain. I mean I didnt take any effort to induce that feeling ...it just happened automatically and after that I was thinking about ways that I could Suggest to her for lessening her monthly ordeals. Why am I like this...why do i feel like this.. I mean yes I know I am sane and perfectly balanced but when it comes to R I just seem to loose all reasonings. How else could someone explain being worried about R's " Back Pain"?
I always open up myself to R much more then I have ever opened up to anyone else in this life. Even at the risk of living myself open to all the pain R can cause me because of that. Today was the day I wished I had at least kept one picture of hers with me when she asked me to delete and shred every picture, every memories associated to her...and I did that ..well almost ..didn't have the heart to tear off the only love letter and card I have ever got in life. In fact I am waiting for the weekend to be over and then go back to office so that I can read it for the 10000000253th time. Yes I know I am insane about R....but I don't wanna change it. This is a part of my life I don't want anyone to know about so that I can enjoy it just by myself...Good Night My Mirror...
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